Hi, folks! I’m Aron Parker, and thank you so very much for visiting my website! Amongst other things, I am a voice actor, writer, photographer, and teacher, not to mention I am also an armchair philosopher, skeptic, conspiracy theorist, certified Pastafarian minister (just call me “Arrron”), and—not to brag—one of Time Magazine’s 2006 Persons of the Year. Yes, really.

And yes, Aron is spelled with only one A. My mother thought the second “a” would be terribly inefficient. For why would I want to write an additional, superfluous letter all my life? Can you imagine all the extra characters that would require me to write? I mean, it would be a gigantically repetitive, tediously unnecessary, needlessly burdensome, repetitively redundant waste of time. It might also bring about early onset arthritis or some kind of repetitive motion disorder. And just think of how all those extra seconds would add up over a lifetime. It’s almost incalculable! . . . So let’s calculate it!

I figure I’ll have to write my name something like a billion times throughout my life, right? That seems totally reasonable. So . . .

. . .If I write my name one billion times over my lifetime, and if it takes me an average of 1/4 second to write a letter “a” . . . 

. . . then that would be 250,000 seconds of extra writing . . .

. . . which is 4,166,666.67 minutes . . .

. . . or 69,444.44 hours . . .

. . . which is 2,893.5 days . . .

. . . or 7.93 years.

Imagine having to spend eight years of one’s life writing a needless letter. And that’s not even taking into account breaks for sleeping or eating! Indeed, I figure having a second “a” in my name would likely have killed me a long time ago. So for that, I will forever be thankful to my mother. Or my m’ther, as I prefer to more efficiently call her.

Isn’t it funny how long the word efficient is? Shouldn’t there be a more fshnt way to spell it?

And why, you might ask, is my website named Arondipity? Well. . . I LOVE the word serendipity. It’s one of those perfect kinds of words to me. I like the feel of it in my ears as if sound waves were painting in the sky. I like the meaning of it, which is surprising and positive and fun. And, gosh golly, it just sounds friendly and silly too. So why not?

ANYWAY . . . I hope to have more on this site to look at or read about in the not-too-distant future. So check back soon!